She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
