Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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