I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
