you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
