Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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