I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
