Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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