is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
