Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I think i got beer on your cat.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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