Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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