just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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