BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
