Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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