Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize