I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
