Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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