I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
