i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
