I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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