seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
