you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Randomize
