Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
