I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize