what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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