I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
