Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize