Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
