Taylor Swift is so right about you.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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