I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
