You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
