Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
