Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
