ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
