Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
