I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize