And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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