You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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