im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
