I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
