I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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