Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize