She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
