Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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