Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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