I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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