Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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