I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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