can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize