Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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