I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
