The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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