I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
