Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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