Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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