He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
