I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
