Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Even my vagina gasped.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
