My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
