your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
