well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
