Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
