the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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