weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
