is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
