My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
