Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
