Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize