Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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