her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize