i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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